Mr Incredible and I just got back from several days without our kids. It was nice, it was relaxing, and even though I did miss my kids, it was a wonderful way for us to reconnect and spend some down time. We do have date nights every few weeks or so. But, having days and nights away does not happen very often. In fact, I realized, as I drove off, worrying a little bit about how my youngest would do, that this was the first time I have left Jack Jack at someone else’s house for more than just an evening.
I don’t really think that I needed to worry. I was leaving the three kids in the capable hands of my parents. I knew the older two would be fine. But, what if Jack Jack woke up during the night? Would he panic, looking for me? Or how about in the morning, when he usually climbs into our bed and snuggles with us for a while before hopping up to begin his day, what would he do then?
I tried not to think about it and vowed to only call once, in the morning, at a time when Jack Jack is usually a happy camper anyway. When I called, things were fine, as I knew they would be. And they were fine the next night too. My mom said that Jack Jack just had a minute or two each morning that he was upset and wanted his mom and dad, but he was easily redirected. So, I was relieved and I was able to relax.
Relaxation is hard to come by these days. So, when the Mr. and I planned this little get away, we planned on it being as relaxing as possible. Our plans were to lay by the pool and read and maybe have a drink or two brought to our pool chairs. We planned to lay at the beach and read. We planned to dip our toes in the surf. We planned to watch what we wanted on the TV and sleep in comfortable beds. We planned to order room service breakfast and not leave our room until we were good and ready. We accomplished all of these things. It was wonderful.
We also enjoyed the things that we did not do. We did not have to build sand castles to keep our kids occupied. We did not have to turn our heads and nod everytime a kid said “Mom! Watch Me!” We did not have to break up squabbles among siblings. We did not have to choose resturants based on the kids’ menus. We did not have to worry about how late we stayed up because there was no one to wake us up at the crack of dawn. We enjoyed not doing these things. It was wonderful.
And yet, we did miss our kids. We watched families playing in the pool and at the beach and talked about what our kids would have liked about this resort. We wondered how my parents were keeping up with the three kids. We talked about how our day at Disneyland with the kids had gone. But, even though we did miss them, it was a much needed break. It was a well deserved break too, since we were celebrating a 10th anniversury that is coming up soon.
As much as we love our kids, we, and all parents, need that time away, as a couple, to make sure that we don’t lose touch with the most important part of our family, the foundation. Sometimes that time is just an evening. Sometimes it is a few days, or even a week. We had not had a week since our Honeymoon and the last time we got away for a couple days was when I was pregnant with Jack Jack, over three years ago. But, times like these are important to our relationships, to our families and even to our kids. How do you and your spouse find the time to maintain your relationship?
Photo graciously provided by sandcastlematt, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved