When the older boys were just toddlers we were friends with a family that had three pre-teen children. The one message we heard from them constantly revolved around how busy they were keeping up with the kids’ schedules.
They quickly became the anti-example for our family. Hubby and I looked at each other and nodded sagely that we’d NEVER allow life to get so busy that it was constantly stressful. What they were doing, running from one activity to the next, was just crazy.
Now we have pre-teen children. And now we are awfully busy with sports and Scouting and church and 4H and volunteering, all on top of school requirements. Oh, and piano. They’re all learning to play the piano.
So are we too busy? We strive for balance. Keeping boys occupied tends to keep them out of trouble, but we don’t want to be overwhelming. Right now the younger boys have evening commitments once or twice a week, while the older boys have two or three evening commitments weekly. It is working out that the adults have something to do 4 nights a week to make it to all the boy stuff, and frequently activities overlap so we’re having to do some interesting juggling to make it all work.
Because they’re homeschooled, the boys usually have time every afternoon to play. In addition they usually take a healthy recess at lunch time and go outside to jump around and blow off some energy. Piano is done during the schoolday. 4H is only once a month.
This is the first year that we’ve encouraged the boys to branch out and choose the sport or activity they want. Up until now, keeping up with different choices was more than Hubby and I could mentally manage. Now, it doesn’t seem too hard. Tiring. Occasionally confusing. But not too hard.
Have we turned into the anti-example for someone else? It’s interesting how much I want to support the boys in their pursuits. Going to a practice or a game when I could be at home getting my own todo list done doesn’t seem nearly as much of an imposition as it did when our friends were describing it. I know that while the days seem long, the years are going to be short. We only get to do this once.
Keeping life balanced is a huge value around here, and I hope that we look back someday and think, “Yea, that worked out well.”
by AmyL
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Photo graciously provided by jurvetson, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
I’m with you on this one — when my kids were little I thought I would make them each choose one activity. Ha! My son has activities 4 times a week, and my daughter has activities 4 times a week, plus two tutoring sessions. Now we want to add swimming lessons, and my husband also wants us all to study Spanish.
And really, it doesn’t seem like that much compared to people who have more kids, more activities, and who travel for hours on weekends for sports tournaments. We occasionally have an entire weekend day with nothing planned, and I feel like we’re the only family I know who has that. Not that I tell anyone about it — I don’t want our family to sound lazy — so maybe other families are secretly sitting around in their PJs eating pancakes at noon.
Being this busy when my kids were 3 and 6 would have been a terrible burden, but now that they are 7 and 10 it seems perfectly reasonable. Occasionally things get too hectic, but there are always breaks between class sessions and during the holidays, so we get a breather when we need it.
STL Mom, you’re so right about it seeming reasonable when the kids are older. I have consoled myself that at least I’m not complaining about it. I did struggle a bit the first time they were in a sport that had a lot of demands, but once we’d been through the season and found out it wasn’t so bad, it’s been easier to sign up for other things.
And. The kids are mostly doing things they want to do. I did insist on piano lessons but only for 2 years. And we’ve been saying that they have to be in some kind of sport or fitness activity all the time. That will likely relax though.