Do you rage?
A post I wrote recently on my personal blog brought out some vicious and anonymous comments from people who seemed to have an awful lot of rage inside them.
I won’t repeat the debate here. But it did make me think about how easy it is for me to slip into anger, and yes, sometimes rage.
I’ve had some battles with various service companies lately and in so many instances I feel my blood pressure rising and my voice getting harder. My words get more gruff as the argument goes on, and I press on in order to try and prove my point that whatever policy the company has or does not have is unfair to me, the consumer.
In crowded stores with surly help, I get angry. When I can’t get where I need to go fast enough because of traffic, I get angry. When my daughter doesn’t listen the first time, I get angry.
Is it just me? Or is this world getting closer and closer to the edge all the time? Violence increases daily. War rages on multiple fronts. Ethnic cleansing goes unchecked as a mad, mad world shrugs its shoulders and turns its own vitriol inward upon its citizens.
I don’t want this for my family, and I don’t want it for myself. I vow here and now, in front of you, to check my rage and remember that we all carry our own troubles in this world. I will do my best not to add to yours with my anger.
Why is this happening? Why am I so angry all the time?
Are you? Why?
[tags]anger, rage, emotions, blog comments, reality, parenting, kids, questions[/tags]
Photo graciously provided by Esther_G, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved
Oh, so thought-provoking, Mrs. C.! I think that we’ve all been schooled to believe that we have control over every last little thing when, of course, we don’t. So when something threatens that sense of control, we go ballistic, because it’s so very important for us to believe we’re in the driver’s seat.
This, I think, is particularly a North American problem. Other countries seem to have a much more mature idea of how much (little) control people really have.
But in North America we’ve been cushioned for so long against real hardship (except for those who do experience real hardship, and there are many of them, though far fewer than in most other countries).
SM, I agree with you. When I lived in the UK, you never saw this. In fact, it was the opposite:
“Oh, your phone is out? That’ll be three weeks, love. Never mind, no worries.”
A slower pace. But when I visited the UK a few years ago, the populace seemed more American, more impatient.
Either way, I know I get closer to the edge, and I don’t like it. I credit Jen at http://www.droolstreet.blogspot.com for this insight. She left a remark about it in my comments.
I turned to my husband last night, after weeks of pleading that we find out way back to working out, and told him I had to go for a run. There was no amount of sweetness from my girls, no little ringlet strong enough to chase my fury and despair away. Too many days of struggling had me trembling with no outlet. I strapped my iPod to my arm and turned inward, each extension of my leg carrying me that much further from my troubles, from my anger. A reset. I think part of our problem is not having the time or the presence of mind to acknowledge the need to unplug and go off the grid. Today I am a different person, contributing less to the edginess and more to the tranquility in a determination to find joy.
It feels good, so very, very good.
I’m right there with you. I may have to return to this post multiple times just to remind me to keep my anger in check.
I’ve felt right on the edge of exploding a lot lately. I too have wondered, “what is wrong with me? Why do I feel angry all the time?”
Some of that has to do with the stress of adding a new family member – and she’s not the one that stresses me out. It’s my older daughter. That comment about getting angry when your daughter doesn’t listen is spot on.
The “not listening” is usually what really gets under my skin and sets me off. There are days when I think “not even the dog listens to me”. Is this the tip of a “not being heard” iceberg? I don’t know.
I do know, after traveling with both girls recently, that exhaustion is a bitch. And turns me into one. If I can get 8+ hours of decent sleep every single night (big if), I can handle the anger and rage a lot better. And, like Amanda, if I can actually squeeze in some exercise, it does wonders for me.
Yes, people are very angry. Me included. I find a lot of anger directed at my kids. Thankfully, I can keep it in check and think to myself what an idiot I am for getting angry at a 5 and/or 3 year old.
I think people are more angry on the Internet and say jerkwad things because there is less accountability.
That being said, I tend to have a reality check every few months, and realize that if I don’t want people to be jerks to me, I need to not be a jerk to them. Kids included. There really is a karma thing…I’m quite convinced.
“Let a smile be your umbrella” and all that happy stuff.
I rage when the dog barks in my face for no reason, when Little Pickel starts humping rugs and headbutting me, when my husband who works in the house know that I am fed up decides to go for a run after work…leaving me with a crashing kid and a wild dog.
And then I wake the next day and everything is normal…and he babbles or speaks in sentences and I think he will be okay and the world will accept him and he will fit in and I will be able to have friends.