I’ve come to the realization lately that when I’m “walking on eggshells” around someone it’s my indication that they are depressed and there’s a chemical imbalance going on. However, with my sensitive personality I internalize the bad behavior that comes my way thinking that I deserve it.
I grew up with a Mom who was struggling with many things in her heart and mind. Unfortunately she took that pain out on me, since my Dad would hide at work to avoid it. So “walking on eggshells” is something I grew up with, and when you’re treated badly by a parent the child takes it to heart.
I spent 7 years supporting myself prior to getting married and in that time received counseling, and worked on my self esteem/confidence/worth. With not only the help of counseling, but also chatting with family members, I learned that I didn’t deserve the anger that was thrown my way and it’s wasn’t my fault.
Now years later I have found myself in the same situation where my feet are sore from eggshells once again. One would think the counseling I received would better prepare me for my future if a loved one around me is struggling with a chemical imbalance, but it didn’t until now.
Recently that loved one had an anxiety attack, went to the ER, and is now on anxiety medication and my world is at peace again, I’m comfortable, and less stressed. I’m oh so thankful that the person was willing to get help and realize there was an imbalance.
I know realize when the eggshells are all over my floors again means that someone around me is struggling and I need to step up and help them. I hope someone would do the same if I’m depressed, because I know oh to well how it could effect my boys and they deserve nothing than 100% from me and if I’m depressed then they are cheated.
Please take the time to read Nan’s post “Owning Our Depression,” and take her advice. After reading it inspired me to write this one.
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Photo graciously provided by Baroun, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved