Saturday night, Hubby and I invited the older boys to stay up with us and watch the movie “Iron Man.” When it came out, we didn’t choose to let them watch it; they’ve been campaigning to see it for quite some time. There is the issue of the younger boys though. They’re most definitely not ready for the, ummmmm, romance near the beginning. Some of the violence is more than we are comfortable with for them as well.
It’s been a bit of a sore point with the older kids. They want to be able to see some of the “cooler” movies without being slowed down by their younger siblings. We want to shield all of them from the rougher stuff, and most definitely feel the need to restrict what the younger boys see. At the same time, we don’t want resentment to build and cause the older boys to take frustration out on the others.
What they don’t see, of course, is the whole picture. When they were little, we watched all the kids’ shows: Barney, Blue’s Clues, and Dora the Explorer were all the rage. By the time the younger ones were old enough to care, the big guys had moved on to other entertainment. They compromised with Barney for a while, but many shows were deemed uncool and therefore unwatchable. The younger boys, interested in being just like the big kids, didn’t complain.
So they’ve all been accustomed to watching the same television shows all this time. If we go out for a family movie it has to be appropriate for all viewers. This is as it should be, and I don’t apologize for that.
So doing something different was a little concerning. Hubby handled it by being very sweet but definite in advance. He spoke to the older boys separately, letting them when we’d be watching the movie. He emphasized the need for them to stay calm about the whole thing. In return the boys were admirable and while they did talk about the upcoming treat in front of their brothers, they didn’t appear to rub salt into any wounds.
Hubby also talked to the younger boys and explained that this movie wasn’t geared for them. He gave them the option of staying up past their bedtime as long as they played nicely in their room. They were very sweet about the whole thing. Plus they’re going to be able to have a special movie sometime soon. The trick will be to choose something the older ones won’t mind missing.
I suggested Care Bears and then Barbie before they figured out I was teasing. At least, they think I was. I do believe I’ll rent something really pink and girly just to get the laugh. A mom’s gotta have fun too, right?
by AmyL
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I’ve been lucky so far. My kids are three years apart, but my oldest is my daughter and she is very sensitive about movies — and she knows it. She doesn’t push to see anything that I don’t think is appropriate. All the push comes from my youngest, who at seven years old thinks he can watch PG-13 “because Daddy lets him”. Only sometimes — Daddy is pretty selective.
I’m sure all this will change as my daughter gets older and starts pushing her limits — then we may have to separate what each kid can watch. I’ll have to remember your tips!
Love reading your stuff Amy. I connect with so much of it having all boys and all. I worry all the time that my youngest is watching things that my oldest wouldn’t have watched at his age. It definitly is tricky to find that balance where the older kids get to feel like they are getting older treatment without causing too much frustration between all of them.
Jen, thanks!! We actually ended up showing the older boys two movies at home without the youngers, but then we took the younger ones to the theater last week by themselves. So far the only one conflicted about this seems to be me! I feel kinda bad about the older ones missing a movie, but I betcha they all manage to deal with it just fine.
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