Job and Lizze
My whole life I wanted to be a mother. I cared for my one baby doll as if it were a child. My desire for mothering was intense. After the formalities of getting a college education and a husband were precluded I set my sights on the biggest longing of my heart… a child.
After years of infertility, my husband and I struggled with how we would grow our family. The choices of more infertility treatments and adoption were both viable and expensive. It was during this time that the question was posed to me, “Do you want to be a mother, or do you want to be pregnant?”
That line brought so much clarity to our decision. We wanted to be parents. The pregnancy was not the end goal. I am a goal oriented, task driven individual. Adoption is a hands-off process. There is nothing you can do to plan or help the process along. At anytime each adoption can end -even after you have the baby in your home.
For those reasons our friends and family were supportive, yet guarded in their excitement and support. When Job arrived our baby showers were planned for after the 30 risky days had passed. Our child had my childhood bassinet, a stroller / car seat combo and a diaper bag.
The one thing in our control was choosing our child’s name. I have shared how we chose our children’s names here.
Last week we saw Tanya Crevier perform at an Upwards Basketball Awards ceremony for Lizzie. Tanya is a spunky 5’3” dynamo with a contagious energy and spirit. As she wowed the audience with basketball tricks, Tanya shared her story of overcoming huge obstacles with perseverance and hard work.
Tanya ultimately played professional basketball for the Women’s Basketball League (WBL) for three years. As Tanya told her story she shared that she had looked up the meaning of her name. She found that it was a Russian name, short for Tatiana. Tatiana was the name of a king and a saint. Tanya drew on the heritage of that name as she “faced the giants” in the basketball courts.
I don’t know when I started calling Lizzie, girly early. But it stuck. It rhymes. It’s light and fun. For years Lizzie’s Asperger’s confused normal love and affection for her. She would want deep pressure bear hugs but resisted light touches. She wanted to hold mom’s hand always, but not get kisses.
Affection was always on her terms. She did not want direct eye contact. She would shun praise. When we said, “I love you” she would bristle and say, “No I love you’s.” It was so hard. This child I longed for, prayed for and would do anything for, would not let me in.
I think that was when I started calling her girly early. Asperser’s children tend to like rhymes and repetition. She has never shunned the name. It is my way of saying, “I love you, Lizzie” and she takes it.
How about you? Do you have a special name story to share?
by Warrior Mama
Lisa is a Cincinnati mom who has struggled the last 11 years to give her kids the best education, food and treatments money can buy. Raising special needs kids is taxing emotionally, relationally, financially and physically. Her dream is to break down the walls isolating special needs families and providing them with information to help them achieve their goals. Lisa blogs at Warrior Mama.
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Photo graciously provided by kudaker , through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved