Here’s the prelude before anyone gets bent out of shape about our silliness and heretical views: Both kids are taking world history this year- the sixth grader is being exposed to general topics, and the ninth grader is delving deeper into world religions and politics. But you know they “get it” when they can start playing and joking about the ideas- they know enough about them to be able to play with the knowledge, and have a good time. And this morning’s stand up routine was evidence that they are, indeed, at that stage of awareness.
So after a bunch of brotherly wrestling and teasing Mom for having “girl” standards of behavior, they started dealing with “guy issues” this morning- like what were the exact rules about who could hit who for “Punch Buggy” (and shockingly, there is a website with official rules- who knew?). They then came up with this idea of the Guyble- The Guy’s bible, where all these sorts of rules would be written down and ordered according to importance. We even tried to differentiate the rules of Guy-induism, and Guy-ddism and other religions, but I think they decided stopping at the common book of jokes and rules was good enough to start with.
Here are a few:
Thou shalt not get first punch on any VW unless the color is called. You must also call No Punchbacks to avoid retaliation.
Dad may not drive us by the VW dealership more than once a week, to prevent excessive bruising.
Thou shall avoid reading the directions at all times.
Thou shall do at least one disgusting thing a day to keep Mom on her toes and make her feel good about exercising “standards and manners,” whatever those things are.
Thou shall try to avoid excessively clean hygiene unless one is interested in or dating a girl. We will rationalize this as “giving a boost to our immune systems.”
Thou shall call “shotgun” in order to score the front seat and the coveted seat heaters. If you do not call shotgun, or the call is disputed, wrestling may occur until a parent declares a winner. A preference is usually given to the first child to be dropped off, after which the loser can assume the coveted position.
Thou shall wait until the last minute to ask Mom for checks and to sign papers, because her face is so pretty when it turns that shade of frustrated purple.
I am sure you can add your own commandments to this Guyble, which is as much a Kid’s Commandment list as anything else. I know we’ll probably see this fleshed out more and more over the coming days, and I know I’m looking forward to what they come up with next. Most of all, I’m glad to see they think about this stuff, and enjoy playing with ideas, because that means, somewhere way back in their brains, they are really starting to enjoy learning. And that’s what I love most about these moments. Silly meets sophistication.
Photo graciously provided by Aislinn Ritchie, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved