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Feng Shui

3 stones on wooden surface balanced in pileMy husband thinks I am weird. This is nothing new. He made fun of me when we started dating when I asked him for his birth date – the time, day and location. He asked me what I needed it for and I told him that I was going to run his chart. “My what?” he exclaimed. After my mom ran his “chart” and compared our compatibility, he became a little less critical of my interest in astrology.

When I told him I was having a consultant come to our house to help me Feng Shui my office all he did was say, “Okay.” For the past few days I have been reorganizing my photos, moving books, cleaning out my book shelf, and buying new items. I think I am driving him crazy. He doesn’t really believe in it, but he is being a good sport. He was willing to listen to what the consultant told me and to hear what I was doing to my office.

When the Feng Shui consultant, Lori, was talking with me about my goals and the current setup of my office she told me that she wasn’t surprised that I have been struggling between career and family for years; yes years. It seems that my office was heavy on photos of my husband and my kids. As such, it made it difficult for me to focus on work related tasks with family surrounding me.

One of my goals is to make my classes more fun for my students. Lori told me to add some fun sayings or trinkets to my office in my Creativity corner. I hung a few of my daughters’ art work pieces, but I’m still searching for some fun teacher/student sayings or trinkets. So far the changes to my office space feel good and applicable to my long-term goals.

The first day after I reorganized I had one of my most productive days in months. It was amazing. My second day was good too. I’ve started to look at applying Feng Shui to the rest of my house. Based on my basic understanding and the information from Lori, our house is pretty good from a Feng Shui perspective, but could use some improvements. The question is how far to take the concepts without driving my husband (or myself) crazy.

by Kelly Damron

Photo graciously provided by [>>Miguel>>], through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Two Heads Are Better

a closeup of a helicopter seen from the front at sunsetI am a part-time single parent: My husband has a job which takes him away for a month at a time, sometimes more.

This does, in fact, work for us. We are both fiercely independent, born in the Year of the Ox, and love getting back together again and exchanging tales of our adventures apart. We both enjoy writing, and our emails and letters are often beautiful. Sean loves his job and brings home recipes from around the world, and I potter around with my own projects, have solitary yoga evenings, and lean on my girlfriends. I manage okay with the boys, and with email and free video calls on Skype, sometimes I joke that we have more conversation apart than we do together!

Sean has been away for over two months this time, though, and it’s been hard. There are three boys in this house, two of whom are battling to become young men, and in the past few weeks there has been plenty of swagger and testosterone in the air as they try to be the Man of the House. I’ve been getting Lip and Sarcasm, and there has been no REAL man here to raise his eyebrow, model nice manly behaviour, and say those very important words, “Don’t You Speak to Your Mother Like That, Young Man!”

I have been yelling, in a totally misguided attempt to make myself heard, and I’ve been allowing more slacking off than I should, just to get some peace. We just had two weeks’ holiday… Things have deteriorated, of course. Between the parental screeching, late nights, the sound of video games, the hyped-up post-game jitters, and the new Nerf Guns, our house has not been the oasis of harmony I like it to be.

Sean is due home now, for a month, and we are all preparing in our different ways. The boys are looking sheepish, knowing that they have crossed the line a few times. I have been doing some personal deforestation: Hey, no-one’s even seen my legs since February!

There is often some resistance: at some point in the next few weeks, someone will say to me, “Why do I have to listen to HIM? HE is never here!” and I will say that Dad works far away to support us all, and even when he isn’t here, he IS, in our hearts and his heart. They don’t really mean what they say, of course, but it is tough for the boys to suddenly be almost outnumbered by parents presenting a united front, just when they thought they were getting the upper hand.

When the boys were little, it was harder. With toddlers and babies, you really need two parents at crucial moments like bedtime, bathtime, injury-time… all the time would be nice! When folks say “How did you manage, with three babies in four years?” and I have honestly to say, “I have no idea.” It is all a bit of a blur! I did have help, sometimes, in the form of the lovely and capable Delises, who cleaned my house and auntied the boys for me. My mum and dad lived nearby, and were available in times of crisis. Friends were wonderful, as we read all the books and encouraged one another to ignore them. And apart from Delises’ occasional cleaning, the house was just allowed to get pretty grotty, which I hated. Those days passed though, the boys became more capable, and I don’t have to watch them like a hawk the way I used to.

Without a full-time Dad in the house, most of the manly chores are relegated to boys. Taking out the garbage and the recycling, minor repairs, bike tune-ups and furniture building are all boy jobs here, along with vacuuming, toilet cleaning (because *I* do not miss!) and composting. The boys are really awesome helpers, most of the time. Of course, there are computer-time minutes to be had in exchange for chores!

So yes, we manage. But nothing can replace Dad coming home. I tend to be routine, predictable. Sean comes up with sudden mad plans. We both teach the boys guitar – I get their Spanish acoustic technique spotless and then Sean leads them in wild electric punk challenges. The boys tell their Dad stuff about their lives and I think “Huh, you never told ME that!” Sean encourages them to eat spicier, leap further, be stronger than I would. He shakes things up around here. Sean is the ultimate cool, rockstar, hotshot helicopter-pilot Dad and the boys idolise him.

And when we all get used to being a family again, we’ll kiss him goodbye. He’ll jet off to live his mad bachelor life, and I will miss warming my feet on his, and having a spare grownup around who cracks me up and gives an awesome massage. Things will get all ordinary around here again.

It works for us.

by Nan Sheppard

Photo graciously provided by the author, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

Make Your Own Mini-Whiteboard

Ever wanted a mini-chalkboard in your purse?  I love carrying around this mini-whiteboard in my diaper bag!  We use it for our grocery list, for occupying bored kiddos, for drawing maps to random people asking for directions, etc.  Of all the things in my bag, this is one of my most versatile items!  Here are directions on how you can make your own with supplies you should have at home.

Supplies to make a mini-whiteboard:

  • An empty CD case
  • Scissors
  • glue stick
  • Dry Erase Markers (or wipe-able crayons)
  • Dried out diaper wipe (for cleaning – they last a long time and store inside the case)
  • White paper – Cardstock is best, or patterned paper

    Instructions to make your board:

    Take apart the CD case. We made our case white on one side and patterned on the other. Cut your paper to fit. Lightly edge your paper in clear glue to help it adhere to the case. The glue is not necessary, but it helps your mini-whiteboard live a little longer. If your kids are like mine, their favorite part of this activity will be wiping their writing, opening and closing the case between wipes. Reassemble the CD case and have fun writing! This is a great thing for every toddler diaper bag, great for entertaining and keeping kiddos quiet in a pinch. The Dry Erase markers will stain clothes, the carpet at the Dr. office, etc., so I like to take wipe-able crayons with me when we are out. Have fun playing “I Spy” and learning with your mini-whiteboard.

    At Quirky Momma, we used our mini-whiteboard to make an animal identification game with the works of Charles Harper.  Check out our original post.

    by Rachel

    Rachel is a momma to three preschoolers, she blogs about her kids, their activities and learning adventures at Quirky Momma.

    But Do I Need A Power Suit For This Job?

    portrait of young woman in jacket and tieI’ve had an awful cough for the longest time (much better now). Before that, I was travelling, and before that it was Post-Holiday Season, Holiday Season, Settling In, and Whatever. Just when I think I’m feeling better and can get Stuff done, my Grandmother is hospitalized and the kids go on a week-long half-term holiday. I’m ‘Not Working’, which, for a Mum, means not contributing (much) to the family’s finances. It means not spending on myself, not even a new yoga mat (sigh) or a pair of jeans that fits my larger bum. I’m not liking this at all.

    It’s so tempting to say “As soon as… then I’ll…” I’ve got writing and editing projects beckoning and even an illustration project due in July, not the kind of work that can be done on the kitchen table in between crises and omelettes, but all are expected to eventually be profitable in one way or another.

    And there’s always a crisis, isn’t there? Think about it, mothers of the world: When was the last time there wasn’t a crisis?

    When I’m ‘Working’, I tend to be Super-Organized. I have been an artist in the same field for many years. I can carve out time (and money) for yoga classes, I never forget an appointment, I manage to be productive and profitable and still have time for helping the kids with their homework, even in times of crisis. ‘Not Working’, I have a tidier house and a few more cups of tea, but it doesn’t bring me great joy, really.

    I used to lose myself in my studio in the city. It is wonderful to have a place to go to for working. It gets you into the right frame of mind, and there are no sinkfulls of dishes beckoning, distracting. No-one has ever dropped a matchbox car into my Studio toilet and wailed till I got it out during my working hours. Orders can sit safely until delivery, the dog does not knock them over and no-one spills juice on them. But I don’t have a studio now, the kitchen table is my only option for a workspace, and “As soon as I have a new Studio/Office Then I’ll…” is the biggest cop-out of them all. I am excited about being a writer, but I have to stop acting as if the writing is just going to do itself while I’m vacuuming the kitchen and popping to the grocery for three items. I don’t know why I should expect it to: my other work never did itself!

    Starting next week, I’m going to start acting like my Employed Writer Self. I’ll decide upon reasonable working hours, dress smartly(ish) in the morning, get the kids to school. I will give myself time to volunteer for half an hour at school some mornings, get to the gym or have a run, and clear the kitchen table. There should be a good three or four hours in a stretch there, five days a week. I will expect the kids to help out around the house, instead of my tidying before they get home from school. They can help with dinner, too.

    The trick is to treat it like a ‘Real’ Job, and focus on getting the work done every day: The money will come, and I am building experience in some exciting Writing and Newsletter Editing jobs… I have volunteered to be Newsletter Editor for the Dorset National Childbirth Trust, a great position! I have so much to learn, and many helpful new friends and associates. It all looks good on my resumé, and it beats paying a fortune for a journalism course at the University. Volunteering means experience AND learning.

    Having done the ‘Working Mom’ thing before, this should be a cinch (right? right?…). I will have to close my eyes to household distractions, though. My kitchen table office does have its drawbacks!

    What do you think, fellow work-at-home Mums? Are there any online resources I should know about for writers? Does it matter to you, if you stay in your jammies all day, or are you like me and have to GET DRESSED in order to work? Am I weird?

    by Nan Sheppard

    Photo graciously provided by Jasmin Cormier, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

    Dishes

    dishes in dish rack with soap and spongeA friend of mine related a story last week in which her granddaughter got to the kitchen one morning only to find that there were no clean bowls to use for breakfast. She immediately headed upstairs and complained to her dad, who then called mom at work to ask what to do. (This did not go over very well with mom.)

    When my friend arrived on the scene later that day, mom and dad were “discussing” the issue. Loudly. So my friend called her granddaughter over to the kitchen and introduced her to Mr. Dish Soap and demonstrated his magical abilities.

    I laughed at the story, and especially at the foolishness of calling mom at work for this problem (I would have gotten a bit annoyed myself). But then I took a closer look at my own children. Do they know how to wash a dish if necessary?

    I don’t think they do. Oops!!

    My oversight was emphasized again last night when I went to another friend’s home and her 12-year-old boy was at the sink scrubbing dishes while her 13-year-old son was grating zucchini to make bread. I’ve been planning to teach my older boys some baking skills soon, and now I’m even more determined to get that done. I don’t know if I would have taught them cleanup or if I would have just done it for them.

    I gotta do better at that, and find a way to do it without it seeming like any kind of punishment.

    Wish me luck!

    by AmyL

    Photo graciously provided by Jocelyn | McAuliflower, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved