Tag Archives: children

abbe_smallhouse

The Son Comes Up – Again.

If your child wants to move back home…

“Ask, will it have it’s advantages? Yes. Will they outweigh the disadvantages…?” (Quote from my spouse)
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My husband and I became empty nesters around six months ago. We totally downsized our lives. Yes, we went from a 2500 sq ft., three story home, high taxes, higher prices to a one floor home under 975 sq ft. We were lucky in the recession/depression: we had enough money to pay off every credit card and put a down payment on the smaller home. Continue reading

warrior-mama-family

I Want A Forever Family

When I hear the words Forever Parents it brings up warm feelings of family , love, and perseverance.

In May of 2002 Lizzie became part of our forever family. Many parents who have been blessed to have added children to their family through adoption celebrate the day their child officially takes their last name.

In our case it was our second adoption. Having adopted Job eighteen months earlier we were familiar with the adoption proceedings and formalities. But this adoption was different. Continue reading

amyl_flowersgrowing

Cycles Of Abuse Can Be Ended

A conversation with a friend of mine recently caused me to look back on my childhood and, once again, marvel at the blessings that I experienced. Both of my parents were in abusive situations growing up, ranging from moderate to severe treatment by their abusers. Statistically, it would be reasonable to expect that my siblings and I would have been treated similarly. Continue reading

citychic_thankyouindifferentlanguages

Teaching Appreciation

One of the life skills we all want to teach our kids is none other than “appreciation.” We start with drilling “thank you” into their heads as soon as they can start talking, we remind them on a regular basis how fortunate and blessed they are with the things they have, and in the end, we hope we’ve raised a respectful and appreciative person when the rearing years are over.

Before we had kids, hubby and I did it to each other without even knowing it… appreciation for the other, that is. I lived on my own for 7 years before we got married, and his was 8 months (better than nothing). We did our own laundry, worked full time, and took turns cooking.

After all those years, now came the time for roles to change after our first son was born. I became a stay-at-home Mom and my appreciation comes when he gets up for work to support the family. I know what that’s like since I worked for 11 years before our son was born. I totally appreciate his hard work.

The laundry, however, is another story. I should do his laundry since it’s really part of my wifely duty, but I’ve chosen not to. Due to that decision, he does appreciate it more when I do pitch in and help him. Bingo!! ;)

For some reason laundry is the center of this post, and I didn’t mean for it to be. Oh well.

Now my boys are 5, 7, & 9. All old enough to fold and put their clothes away as far as I’m concerned. So the past year I’ve washed and dried their laundry and occasionally when they got home from school there was a pile on the floor to sort, fold, and put away. Needless to say they were none to happy about it, but did it anyway.

For the first time after a year I took the time to wash, dry, sort, and fold their laundry. Each had a basket full of folded clothes to put away when they got home. I was caught off guard by their reaction, which was . . “Thanks Mom!!” The “thanks Mom” came from realizing how much work it is and that I did a majority of it for them. Hum I taught a lesson in appreciation and didn’t even plan it!

I wonder what other tricks I can come up with and get the same reaction, as well as a sigh that I did a good job as a Mom. ;)

by City Chic On A Farm

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Photo graciously provided by woodleywonderworks , through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved

amyl_bluesclues

Balancing Media Is Possible

Saturday night, Hubby and I invited the older boys to stay up with us and watch the movie “Iron Man.” When it came out, we didn’t choose to let them watch it; they’ve been campaigning to see it for quite some time. There is the issue of the younger boys though. They’re most definitely not ready for the, ummmmm, romance near the beginning. Some of the violence is more than we are comfortable with for them as well.

It’s been a bit of a sore point with the older kids. They want to be able to see some of the “cooler” movies without being slowed down by their younger siblings. We want to shield all of them from the rougher stuff, and most definitely feel the need to restrict what the younger boys see. At the same time, we don’t want resentment to build and cause the older boys to take frustration out on the others.

What they don’t see, of course, is the whole picture. When they were little, we watched all the kids’ shows: Barney, Blue’s Clues, and Dora the Explorer were all the rage. By the time the younger ones were old enough to care, the big guys had moved on to other entertainment. They compromised with Barney for a while, but many shows were deemed uncool and therefore unwatchable. The younger boys, interested in being just like the big kids, didn’t complain.

So they’ve all been accustomed to watching the same television shows all this time. If we go out for a family movie it has to be appropriate for all viewers. This is as it should be, and I don’t apologize for that.

So doing something different was a little concerning. Hubby handled it by being very sweet but definite in advance. He spoke to the older boys separately, letting them when we’d be watching the movie. He emphasized the need for them to stay calm about the whole thing. In return the boys were admirable and while they did talk about the upcoming treat in front of their brothers, they didn’t appear to rub salt into any wounds.

Hubby also talked to the younger boys and explained that this movie wasn’t geared for them. He gave them the option of staying up past their bedtime as long as they played nicely in their room. They were very sweet about the whole thing. Plus they’re going to be able to have a special movie sometime soon. The trick will be to choose something the older ones won’t mind missing.

I suggested Care Bears and then Barbie before they figured out I was teasing. At least, they think I was. I do believe I’ll rent something really pink and girly just to get the laugh. A mom’s gotta have fun too, right?

by AmyL

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Photo graciously provided through the Fair Use doctrine, some rights reserved