As the mother of twins, I made the decision during pregnancy that my children would have separate identities. This is easier when the twins are boy/girl. Since my twins are both girls this has been an ongoing effort on my part. Thankfully, my girls have embraced their uniqueness and are finding their own interests, taste in clothing, etc.
They started kindergarten this year and I really debated over placing them in the same classroom or separating them. It is easier to have them together for many reasons. My girls are very shy and have a tendency to cling to each other when other children are around, which is a reason for separating them in school. I thought separating them would help them find their own way and it is working well.
The transition from being in the same class to separate classes wasn’t easy. Pack Rat was very unhappy that she was going to be in a different classroom than her sister. When she saw that the wall between their classrooms had a permanent open doorway she was able to relax a little. Copy Cat was happy she was going to be in a class without her sister and has never looked back.
I can now fully appreciate the hectic schedule of my friends with two children of differing ages. Until now my life has been fairly easy because I have been able to schedule both of my kids for the same activities. With the two classrooms, I have to split my volunteer hours as equitably as possible. It is share week this week and I had two activities to attend, not just one. Next week is the Fall party. Both of my daughters’ parties are at the same time. Thank goodness for that open doorway between their classrooms so I can easily move between the two parties.
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog about their upcoming birthday and how they decided they want a party. With two classrooms the list is fairly long. Copy Cat has decided she wants to invite every girl in her class except one. We’ll I’m not cool with leaving one girl out so she is invited too. Pack Rat tends to create closer more intimate relationships with her friends so she is only inviting five girls from her class. We have a few family friends and neighborhood kids we are inviting too.
We have only had one play date so far and it was with a common friend. I asked another woman if we could schedule a play date and she was not open to Pack Rat joining Copy Cat and her daughter. I get that. It will give me a chance to spend some quality time one-on-one with the other daughter when only one is invited to a play date.
If I had to do it all over again, I would make the same decision. It is more work and time on my part, no doubt. But in the long run I think it will be better for my daughters that they had the opportunity to be an individual, make their own friends and have different classroom experiences.
by Kelly Damron
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Photo graciously provided by Oude School, through a Creative Commons license, some rights reserved